Making friends can be a struggle for many people. I can definitely relate to that. I have always wondered how people make best friends who they always seem to hang out with. Even though I said i have had a trouble making friends, its not that I am so shy that I can’t talk to people or anything like that. In fact I am not poor at making casual friendships or acquaintances. What I mean by friends here is ‘close friends’.

I remember at school, I had people to talk with, or when I go to other classes I had someone I know waving at me or talking to me. However, I have felt like that they didn’t consider me as friends. It seems that each of them has got close friends who they usually hang out with. Then I realized that I didn’t have anyone like that. I have been wondering why its happening to just me. Needless to say, I haven’t gotten best friends.

Friendships take each person’s effort, you know. I still have met some friends who I thought were close to me, but I stopped hanging out with them after I noticed that it was always me who suggested that we could meet up. I am a trustful person, (or at least i believe so), and care for others. Sometimes too much. So I honestly get hurt too, when someone takes advantage from that, or when I realize that they don’t care our friendship as much as I do. As much as I give something to others, I end up feeling lonely. But then something occurred to me. (its not a long year ago.) – I had never spoken to people about my insecurities. What made me realize is ironically, my hard times where i started to suffer depression and anxiety. It took courage. I talked to one of my friends at university who I haven’t talked to for a while. (To be honest, I didn’t even connect with people except my family for a while. ) about what I am going through. I knew I was scared because I was like, hell who wants to deal with someone having hard times. However she was so supportive to me. I felt even closer to her. (still I am working on this though.) you never know until you try. I hope she feels the same. My friends who i met through the Internet are awesome as well. They are incredibly supportive even when I am feeling down. I really can’t put them into words. They always make me realize that its okay for me to rely on someone. I have felt really grateful for that. And, I hope I can do the same for them to when they need me. Speaking up to someone about your issues can be risky, (I have failed a lot too), but you’ll get the good true friends as a reward. 🙂




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7 thoughts on “Friendships. 

  1. Hi Saki,

    I wish I would have time to reply to all your blogs. You are too quick for me as I would like to comment in depth on every subject you have blogged about but I haven’t the time. I want to say that I can relate to what you are saying as I had a similar experience which started in middle high school. I had been pretty popular up to that time and I’m not sure what changed but I have a couple of ideas about it, but won’t go into that. Later in life it’s been me more than others that have prevented me from having good friends to hang out with. I guess I just don’t trust people, which is probably due to my own insecurities.

    Regarding your periodic depression, it’s probably nothing wrong with your constitution. There are things that can cause depression that you can control. There are foods that can cause poisons to be absorbed into your blood stream. Mongolian people have always had a diet high in dairy, but I believe Japanese people haven’t consumed dairy until relatively recently. Many people are lactose intolerant including many Caucasians. The same goes for wheat which is high in gluten and can cause a digestive disorder, even in many Caucasians, called celiac disease or gluten sensitivity. When it causes the celiac disease problem, it aggravates the tissue in the digestive tract which leads to other problems. Asians evolved with rice which is low in gluten, Another consideration is; most people don’t get enough vitamin D which the skin produces from sun light. Many people in the northern hemisphere suffer from depression in the winter and it could happen to people in the summer too, if they don’t get much sun exposure. The Mayo Clinic says: For mood disorders, 400-800 IU daily or 100,000 IU weekly has been taken by mouth for up to one month to improve symptoms of depression associated with seasonal affective disorder. If it were me,I would take 1,000 IU every day. Some fish oils are high in vitamin D, so you might be able to take less vit D if you consume a lot of those kinds of fish.

    I’m not trying to play doctor, but want to make you aware of things like this.

    Best of luck,
    Brian (singb)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, guys. 🙂
      Brian, I hope that you get to make some good friends. you know, popularity is nothing. 🙂

      And about my depression thank you for your advice. I really appreciate that. Nowadays it seems periodic depression yes, however for the past few years it was chronic so I still have to watch out at this moment. My mood still can be unstable and I notice that I’m more sensitive to things people say or the environment etc than I used to. Although as you mentioned, diets can play an important role on our mental health. I will try them out, thank you!!


  2. Thanks Pheython, that’s true, I should have mentioned it. I take probiotics everyday and feel much better when I do. I know the Japanese people have a lot of foods that are fermented like tempeh, miso and fermented cabbage, so I think that’s probably not a problem for most of them.

    Exercise is also very good for the mind and the body.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Finding and making good, close, trustworthy friends is so hard.
    I have lots of friends but i class 80% of them as acquaintances, 15% as mutual friends with my wife and kids ect, 4% and friends and 1% as really good friends who i am comfortable opening up too. But even then i can count that number on 1 hand. I think its hard for me to find like minded people with similar interests and a fucked up sence of humour!
    Ive found that as i have grown up my circle of friends has changed. I still keep in contact through stalkerbook (seriously thats all it really is!!!) With old school friends but i havent seen some of them since i left school!

    Its good having friends online too, i have met lots of good people through the internet.
    I still find it hard to talk about my problems even with close friends, and i dont think i could ever talk to my wife about them! Maybe one day.

    Its seams strange but i remember when i first got a cellphone in 2001 and started texting with people, talking became hard. I went from being very talkative to being not very talkative and found it easyer to text people. That has changed a bit over time but i still feel very awkward and get anxiety when i talk with people, friends or strangers, but i can talk with other truck drivers no problem! Its weird.
    Anyway enough of me rambling again!

    Take care =)


    1. Hi there Josh, thanks again for the comment!

      I see, I know what you mean. I think everyone has insecurities which totally prevents us from being closer, lol I liked that you call stalkerbook lol I am not interested in other people’s life unless they are close to me.

      I hope you’ll get to talk to your wife about your problems. I am sure she will understand! Its not good to keep all into yourself. And yes these days people don’t call much anymore and the conversations we have on daily can just be texts. Personally I like talking to people at least via phone or in person because its easier for me to express my feelings also i start to miss… people. hmm when texting I sometimes dont feel that I am talking to a real person. I hope i make sense. lol anyways I get what you mean too though, I am not good at talking when theres awkward silence. You are not alone!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Saki, I just watched your “let’s share some love” scope and want to briefly say, before I fall asleep, that if you were here in the states you wouldn’t go 1 week before a nice guy won you over. There are lots of nice guys who know how to treat a woman especially someone as nice as you. It’s hard to believe that your not with a nice guy over there. I guess I don’t know enough about your culture.

    It’s real late, I’ve got to get done some sleep.
    Take care.


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